Let Only Latex Stand Between Your Love
by Hayasaka.Shion
Summary: "I can prove it to you! I can prove that the universe was conspiring to turn us into a homosexual couple! Here!" yelled Mahiro, savagely biting his cookie.


**A/N: Prompt: 'I'm just doing what the fortune cookie said!'**

**Prompt credit: awesomewritingprompts . tumblr **

**Innuendos credit: www . ocf . berkeley . edu / ~montymex /pickup /innuendo . html**

**Enjoy!**

Mahiro didn't believe in luck, or miracles, or gods, or ghosts. There were a lot of things Fuwa Mahiro didn't believe in, and fortune cookies were one of them. In fact, if he had a choice, he preferred to avoid fortune cookies altogether. But on the run in a town full of dead people, he really didn't prioritize avoiding them, instead choosing to take whatever his hands touched at any shop. It was a pure coincidence that he'd just found out the cute box of cookies in his bag were, actually,_ fortune cookies._

He raised his hand to throw the bastards away; god knew what the fuck they were going to say, probably something stupid like, 'you are doomed to die a horrible death without ever having told anyone that you love them.' Yoshino's hand gripped his own, stopping him from sending the box flying. He'd forgotten how interested Yoshino was in anything involving chance. Dammit.

"Let's try this out, Mahiro," the green-eyed boy said, handing a cookie to Mahiro (which was grudgingly accepted) and then taking one himself. He watched Yoshino take a wary first bite, not wanting to accidentally rip the paper inside. Yoshino chewed carefully, pulling out the paper inside simultaneously. He swallowed, reading the little scrap.

"Look at this, Mahiro! Read what it says," Yoshino had a smile playing on his lips, his eyes twinkling with laughter. Even after everything they'd been through Yoshino had never lost his smile; that was one thing Mahiro was thankful for, because Yoshino's smile kept him going, and he wanted to keep thought he kept Yoshino's smile going. Mahiro turned his eyes toward the scrap Yoshino was holding out. It said four simple words that had Mahiro barking with laughter, _'you are not illiterate.'_

Yoshino was watching him and smiling wider. Mahiro fiddled with his own cookie. To eat or not to eat? Going by what Yoshino had gotten, this box was probably full of such wacky stuff, there probably wouldn't be any very bad ones. Deciding, he sunk his teeth into the cookie. Pulling his paper out, he quickly unfolded it, reading. _'See that person beside you? Those clothes look real sexy on him. As a matter of fact, so would you.'_

Well. That escalated quickly. How the fuck Yoshino had managed, out of all the cookies he could take, to pick this particular one was beyond him.

"Mahiro? What does it say?" Yoshino asked, curious, as Mahiro turned the paper around and showed him.

"Oh... well, I guess the staff originally meant this for couples and stuff... I mean, no one ever buys fortune cookies alone." Yoshino said. His face was suspiciously blank.

Mahiro nodded and slipped the paper into his back pocket, taking another offered cookie and waiting for Yoshino to bite his first. The brunet turned the paper around as he ate the rest of the cookie. _'He likes to flirt, but towards you his intentions are honorable._' "Hm. Weird." Yoshino mumbled as he watched Mahiro pull his fortune out. _'The guy beside you? His ankles are having a party. Invite his pants down.'_

"What the fuck?" Mahiro mumbled, making to shove the scrap inside this pocket again, but not before Yoshino got a good look at it. The next round commenced, with Yoshino biting first and then Mahiro. Mahiro's fortunes had a very strong, uh, recurrent theme, one that was making even Yoshino's ears the slightest shade of red.

_'A very attractive brunet has a message for you.'_

_'Play lion-tamer. The person next to you gets down on all fours, you put your head in their mouth.'_

_'You should check your friend's zipper.'_

_'Borrow your partner's glasses and see if you can see them home with them.'_

_'Your thoughts about your friend are X-Rated.'_

_'Let only latex stand between your love.'_

The proud blond's short fuse burst into tiny splinters. He was _sick_ and_ tired _of these stupid puns and innuendos. At this point he was willing to do anything to make them stop. Listening to what they said would probably shut them up!

Without any warning, the delinquent turned around in a flash, smacking Yoshino's lips with his own. Kissing Yoshino wasn't different from kissing any of his girlfriends; he guessed a mouth was a mouth in a guy or a girl. Plus point, because he knew exactly where his tongue should go, and exactly where to lick to make Yoshino go weak-kneed like some damsel. Yoshino though got the hang of it pretty quickly, and in no time Mahiro was the one struggling to keep the blush off his face (both of them were failing).

Mahiro's hands were going elsewhere, carried away by the flow of things, his callused hands pushed away layers of clothes and ripped apart a few buttons as he finally touched skin. Bodies weren't that different, so Mahiro took his hands to Yoshino's chest, pinching the nipples there, (which made Yoshino moan into the kiss. A not undesirable sensation. At all.) pulling, rubbing, anything. When Mahiro did break them apart it was for air, and a few minutes later a zipper was loudly unzipped as Mahiro pulled out the family jewels of the Takigawa family.

"Mahiro, what are you-_ ah!_"

Mahiro's teased the head of Yoshino's cock, running his tongue over it, lightly nipping it, but never giving Yoshino the hot-hot-hot he needed. Fuwa Mahiro may have been an amateur but he was an enthusiastic amateur, and therein lay the difference.

"M-Mahi...ro!" Yoshino's knees finally gave out as he collapsed smack on his back right there on the pavement in broad daylight. At this point a normal boy would have backed off, but not Fuwa Mahiro. Mahiro used the considerable added amount of working space he had to swoop in and take as much of Yoshino as he could into his mouth. There was no middle-ground with Fuwa Mahiro, and as a result Yoshino_ yelled_, because his vision was blurry and because it felt_ so fucking good, so good_ and on reflex he arched his back, thrusting his hips up to try and get in deeper. Mahiro tried his best to hold off his gag reflex, doing quite a good job as he felt Yoshino fuck his throat raw. Maybe Yoshino was a proper man after all, Mahiro joked in his head as he used his hand to further the pleasure, trying not to take his eyes off Yoshino's face because _damn, that was more of a turn-on than any girl's rack could ever b_e- And Yoshino's thrusts were gaining urgency and force, hinting that he was close, so close.

Mahiro's sucking grew correspondingly, his mouth moving faster, trying to get a rhythm with Yoshino's hips, which was a singularly difficult task, but Mahiro supposed he'd get it with time (time? what time? was there even going to be a next time?). In the last few moments Yoshino thrusts with a fervour unmatched, making Mahiro very nearly gag, but he controls himself, instead focusing on taking Yoshino harder, faster, _deeper_. When Yoshino reaches his orgasm Mahiro's watching him - the face he makes when he comes, perfectly recorded into Mahiro's memory (he hopes he'll be seeing that face again sometime soon, because_ damn, son_).

The brunet's seed tastes slightly salty like miso soup, and it isn't a bad taste, but Mahiro still spits it out, the few remaining traces to be swished and gargled out later. Yoshino is breathing heavily, heavily and Mahiro itches to hear the irregular_ thump-thump-thump_ his heart is going. It presumably takes Yoshino a few moments to gather his wits, because all of a sudden, he sits up and starts yelling.

"What the hell, Mahiro?! What was that for?"

The blond reached down to pick two more cookies from the box now on the floor, and then threw the entire box into a nearby trashcan. He handed Yoshino one, not looking him in the eyes, close to biting his own cookie when-

"Mahiro! Answer me!"

The blond in question turned. "I was sick of all those fortunes, can you blame me?" His blush was thankfully down to his neck now, and honestly, it wasn't like he was homophobic or anything. Fuwa Mahiro identified as bisexual.

"That's no reason to suddenly kiss someone and give them a blowjob!"

"The universe clearly wanted us to get together! Now I can stop getting sexual innuendos for my fortunes! So yes, it was a reason!"

"Don't decide for the universe! You didn't ask-"

"I can prove it to you! I can prove that the universe was conspiring to turn us into a homosexual couple! Here!" yelled Mahiro, savagely biting his cookie.

Yoshino watched, perplexed and yet intrigued as to what Mahiro's 'proof' would be. The paper said a very simple sentence.

_Relationships can change into something much more fulfilling and warmer than they were before._

Mahiro's shout was victorious. "See! The universe is happy now that we're together! Now it won't bother me with stupid sex jokes again! Which is why we should stay together and probably fuck each other hard at night, but also go on dates and stuff!" Mahiro's face was as red as his eyes, and the contrast was not unpleasant, at least for Yoshino, who was awestruck with the sheer boldness his friend had.

_As always, Mahiro, you amaze me..._

"Are you serious, Mahiro," Yoshino half-asks, because he hasn't opened his heart to anyone except a dead girl as of yet. "About us. Because I'm not going to be one of your ex-girlfriends or one-night-stands. If you really plan on a relationship with me, then I need your word you aren't playing around."

Mahiro's throat runs dry. He's got his own little tent under his belt, but that can wait, because somehow, something is telling him that if he fucks this up he's never going to get over it.

"I'm serious, Yoshino, you're all I have left now! I'm not going to play around with you!"

Yoshino closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. "In that case," he exhales as he opens his eyes and smiles, (there's a shaky sort of fierce warmth in his eyes, the fierce warmth and heat of a star just before it collapses, the light of a firefly just before it dies) I'll be your boyfriend."

Mahiro smiles in response, the first real one he's smiled since he was a kid crapping his pants, probably. "Okay then, boyfriend," he swallows the lump in his throat, "I can live with that."

~omake~

Conspicuous coughs sound out of Mahiro's pocket. "Not that I was eavesdropping or anything, but are you two done yet?" comes Hakaze's voice out of the cursed doll.

"H-Hakaze!" Mahiro yells out, shocked. He should have gotten rid of that doll first thing in the morning, oh god, why is this even happening?!

"We are, Hakaze-san," Yoshino's smooth, composed voice replies, "I'll remind Mahiro to put you somewhere you can't hear us next time,"

(Implying there will be a next time. _Score, fuckers!_)

"By the way, Hakaze, what the fuck were you doing listening in on us?"

"I-I did no such thing!"

"You fucking did!"

"Why would I, the Princess-"

Yoshino sighs in the distance. He needs to find some goddamned soundproofing material, and some condoms and lube as well.

(Takigawa Yoshino never leaves favours unrewarded after all. And Fuwa Mahiro will find this out the pleasant way.)

_(Perhaps.)_

**A/N: Oh my god, a prompt that spiralled out of control! This was originally supposed to be a Natsumura x Samon work, but the prompt didn't, in my opinion, suit them. So voila, Mahiro x Yoshino smut and fluff in the same story! I do hope this fandom is still getting views O.o otherwise my writing will be in vain!**


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